Having acquired Alter’s Metatron and liking it very much, I look for more. I find that Volks has made another Metatron figure, and after it passes the eyeball approval test I quickly point my web browser to Shopping Mall Japan. As I log myself in, an unwelcome voice speaks in my mind …
COMMON SENSE: Hey there.
ME: Oh no. Hell no. Not this again. You’re not going to change my mind so you might as well drop it right now.
CS: Relax, dude. I’m not going to try to talk you out of anything. If you want to buy pervy plastic figures, that’s your business.
ME: Fine, cool.
CS: So which figure are you buying now?
ME: This one’s, uhh, Metatron.
CS: Don’t you already have one of those?
ME: Yeah. I’m getting another one. It’s kinda like buying the PSP version of a game you already have on Playstation, you know?
CS: So what’s up with this figure?
ME: Well, it’s from Volks, I think it’s been out for a while but it’s never come out in the United States. I guess none of the Volks stuff ever does.
CS: What’s she doing with her hand? Is she making some sort of gang sign or something?
ME: I don’t know, maybe she’s down with the Crips? It’d explain the hair color.
CS: So you’re going to pay this huge premium to use a middleman service to buy this thing?
ME: Hey, you said you weren’t going to try to talk me out of this.
CS: I’m not. I just want you to be aware of all the possibilities.
ME: What are you talking about?
CS: For example, your computer is in sad-ass shape, isn’t it?
ME: Yeah …
CS: Doesn’t it take like an hour to reboot?
ME: It does.
CS: And aren’t you so low on hard disk space that you’re going to have to start moving your animated pr0n to USB drives just to clear out some room for pictures?
ME: That’s true.
CS: See, instead of buying a figure of questionable quality, you could put the money to more productive use. You already spend a ton of time in front of your computer, why not invest the money into ensuring that your machine runs smoothly?
ME: Well –
CS: Or if you want to throw the money at something silly, you could roll up to DC and spend it on hookers and blow.
ME: What?
CS: Hookers and blow, man!
ME: Dang. That does sound pretty good.
CS: Damn straight. So you see, you don’t really need to spend so much on plastic statues to be happy.
ME: But on the other hand, Metatron has a disembodied hand clutching her boob. How cool is that? It’s like a brassiere. Half of a brassiere. Made out of a demon’s hand.
CS: What?
ME: Have you seen anything cooler than that? Of course you haven’t, there’s nothing cooler than a bustier made from a chopped-off hand. Half a bustier, I mean.
CS: That can’t possibly be a compelling reason for you to buy this thing.
ME: You don’t know me very well, do you?
CS: Look dude, you can’t possibly keep up this rate of spending. You don’t even have the shelf space to store all these things.
ME: Details. I’ll worry about those things after I get this figure.
CS: You’re going to blow all that money on this?
ME: Hell yeah!
CS: Dammit!
A quick overview of this figure: she’s listed as 1/6 scale but she’s actually closer to 1/8, as she’s about the same size as Alter’s figure. Paint quality isn’t fantastic, as was the case with Kaguya and Aschen. Overall, I’d say this is a decent figure, certainly not great, but I really like the character design so I’m happy with it. The Alter version is definitely better, though.
I’ve been sick and feeling bloody awful for the last few days. I should’ve smoothed out some of the folds here but I probably wasn’t paying enough attention.
Nice shooting. This figure is nice, but I prefer Alter’s version (details are more great with Alter). But the base of Volk is more original ^^
Haha thats inner monologue was awesome!
Whats that thing shes standing on?
Oppai! Futomomo! Oshiri! All kinds of awesome! O_O
>> Leonia
Yeah, the Alter version is really tough to beat. This Volks version is really old, though … Tsukiboard says it came out in 2004! (Not sure if that’s the resin kit or prepainted model.)
>> Blowfish
Thanks! It’s the upper torso of a demon … not sure if it’s the same demon whose hand now frames her chest.
>> H Sensei
Indeed! The combination of that plus felled demon base, amputated hand, and faux-gangsta sign all make for one very cool figure.
“It’s like a brassiere. Half of a brassiere. Made out of a demon’s hand.”
hahahahhaa got a kick out of that ^^
i get enough strange looks from guests as it is so figures with their oppai on display are out for the time being.
having no frame of reference i can’t really say which one captures the character better but definitely a neat figure with so much going on.
Common Sense is thwarted again! Even though he should win all the time, it’s nice to have him lose every once in a while isn’t it?
>> meronpan
Thanks! You know, I didn’t even know what it was for a long time, I thought it was just a fragment of her armor until I looked at it and thought, “Hey, those sort of look like fingers.”
>> super rats
True indeed! Unfortunately for my bank balance, my common sense loses these sorts of fights all too often.
You know, I actually watched Demonbane when my computer broke down. Too bad I never really saw Metatron or Another Blood in action, though I have taken a liking in that series, Al is pretty cute :3 and the story was quite decent. Having a giant robot always help keep my interest level high. I might ended up playing the game just to find out more information on this Metatron. Volks can do some amazing things on Dollfie but from what I seen so far, their PVC line up isn’t as impressive, probably in the same league as Griffon.
Yeah, I’d agree with that, Volks PVC quality isn’t all that high. Mainly I like their character selection; I’m taking a look at some of their Muv-Luv figures. Maybe my common sense will get trounced again.
nice made-up convo, definitely got me some good laughs ^^
my common sense is just as shitty as yours too unfortunately, gets owned too often and thus im in some really bad credit card debts OTL /despair
Haha, yeah, my mantra is that money is replaceable but opportunities are not, and in this hobby opportunities can vanish before I overcome my fiscal inhibitions. Fortunately I don’t have any other really expensive hobbies to compete for expenditures.
Making up dialogue is a lot more fun than writing a straight review; sometimes it takes a little more effort but in instances like this and the Mikuru movie dialogue, it almost writes itself.
haha sorta the same here. although mine’s more towards “you only have one life, and money ain’t much good when i’m too old to enjoy it”
thats why i’m an absolute retard when it comes to managing money lol.
to make matters worse, i’m a tech addict (PC, and not too long ago picked up a laptop as well) and also picking up photography as a hobby. gee-gee LOL
and yeah really loved the dialogues you’ve done (those that i’ve read at least)
to say the least, its really unique compared to other figure reviewers out there 😀
im sure Japan blog/sites have done stuff like these and ive came accross them too… however google translate or the laziness to even bother trying just makes it totally meaningless to me (yeah i cant read moonrunes LOL)
p/s: wanna exchange links? XD
Vey fun review to read! Although maybe the quick description should be on top =)
(that was what I was looking for while scrolling through your figure reviews)
Very entertaining!
Hehe, yeah, it probably should. I figure that nobody’s gonna buy this figure though, so I like to do something a bit more fun for figures like that.